I WANT......I can HAVE

I have been MIA in the blog world, health has kept me from contributing much energy other than family and trying to work as much as I could to keep insurance active and some money coming in. My young daughter has discovered Pinterest....she reads them to me in the car & while surfing the laptop. This is one I just couldn't help but post with a small update, because it tells exactly how I feel on most days.
Brain scan coming soon, I am worried that I will lose my driving privileges, low blood pressure has been discovered to be the culprit on several of the delays for surgery. I just want to get on with it, mentally I have prepared for surgery but physically I am not quite there.
I AM WEAK BUT I AM STRONG HAS BEEN THE FORCE THAT HAS GOT ME OUT OF BED AND TO THE OFFICE (actually alot of help from the Lord HE deserves the glory for my being). DEPRESSION HAS BEEN MY BEST FRIEND FOR FAR TO LONG NOT SURE WHY I KEEP FALLING FOR ITS LIES, BUT I AM READY TO BREAK FREE AND JUST BE ME AGAIN. EVEN IF I GET TO DO IT FOR ONLY A SHORT TIME HERE ON EARTH.
Thank you Beth for your wonderful cards and prayers!!! Thank you Lily for checking in on me from across the pond you are so dear. My blog friends who e-mail me & have not forgotten me THANK YOU so so much YOU ALL have no idea what it means to hear personally of the caring.
LOVE & BLESSINGS TO ALL WHO STOP BY.......<3

Lifting up Hilary

Okay so I just read that Hilary are wonderful host for Fill in Four Friday is still affected by Sandy so please lift her and Marc up in prayers for recovery soon!!!  We love and Miss you Hilary if I can help in any way Please send me an e-mail :]

Pondering with a Purpose~Independent

Welcome to Pondering with a Purpose -

 This is my weekly hop where Brenda posts a prompt and you get to write to it on your - then we all get to go read what you wrote!

Brenda started Pondering with a Purpose because -- simply put -- She is a writer - - that is what she does! And although I love following all the hops, I wanted to see if I could bring out some creativity in not only myself, but some of my blogger friends as well.

The rules are really easy:

1. Grab the Pondering with a Purpose Badge (in my sidebar)

2. Look at the week's prompt

3. Post something on your blog that relates to the prompt - it can be a story, a poem, a picture -- anything you want it to be.

4. Come back here and add the URL from your post to the linky list below.

5. Go check out the other bloggers who have added their links to the list.

6. AND most of all.... Have fun!

This Week's prompt: Independence

With everything un-raveling in my life right now I think how lucky I am to be independent. My husband encourages me to go and do things and even when I make a mess of stuff he supports me in a way where I do not feel that I am a mess. I can share life with him but I can also go out into the big world and be strong alone. It is a good feeling knowing that I can do it but I do not have to.
With having to change my blog I felt the old familiar tug of lack of independence from fear....fear of ???  that fear and deep desire to be private and hidden so I could express myself openly on here was taken from me and I felt again this week... frozen and angry of the ability of someone else's ability to take away my independence but REALLY they didn't I just thought they did for a moment...I am still me and I am still standing and if I have to change and re-arrange this blog thing then I will because the healing started to take hold for the first time and stick when I was able to connect with others who understood and survived LIFE!!! I AM INDEPENDENT AND I SURVIVED THE PAST AND I WILL CONTINUE TO MOVE FORWARD WITH HEALING.